Embrace the Camera September 29th

For embrace the Camera this week how could I not help but share a sweet moment with my new baby.  Brett grabbed this photo at the hospital of me enjoying time with little miss Sarah.  So here is to embracing my new sweet baby!

Random or not so random thoughts

We have had a busy week to say the least!  We are adjusting, trying to sleep some, and doing lots of cuddling.  Here are some random thoughts about my week thus far.

1.  I am totally in love with all 3 of my little girls

2.  I didn't think I could have a daughter that could possibly look more like her daddy until I had baby Sarah.

3.  None of my daughters look like me, but that is ok because I think they are cuter that way.

4. I love all of baby Sarah's dark, straight hair, but I am pretty sure it will all fall out and turn blond, tear.

5. We have already had one H.U.G.E diaper blow out, it made Brett dry heave, I had poop all over my arms and hands, and we had to give Sarah a bath

6. Norah has been really sick, like fever, yucky cough sick, so she has hardly got to spend time with Sarah, it is sad.....

7. Maya is like a little mommy, wanting to help with everything, diaper changes, feedings, picking out clothes and cleaning Sarah's umbilical cord (which she thinks is gross)

8. Baby Sarah is pretty much like this all day

9.Grammy is loving time with Baby Sarah

10.She's a keeper

the day baby Sarah came into the world

I know not everyone likes to hear or read about birthing stories, but I wanted to share about the day baby Sarah came into our world.  It was a very special day, one I want to always remember, to share, to inspire and encourage others, she is very special, just like her birthday.

this was taken in between contractions

 Wednesday night September 21st was a normal night, we took the girls out to smash burger for dinner, and then headed to small group.  I didn't feel different, just the usual random cramping and anticipation of when the baby might come.  We came home and went to bed, I was restless, as usual, getting up to go pee often and not very comfortable in general.  I was more crampy than usual but no real consistent contractions.  

As the morning approached I just really felt the need to go outside and walk around, to have fresh air and just be outside!  So when Brett's alarm went off around 6am I asked if he could just walk with me, so that is what we did.  Just a few minutes into our walk I started to have frequent contractions, every 2-3 minutes apart, it just came on quick!

I wanted to be sure I was in labor so we decided to come home.   I took a shower and started to get ready (yes, I straightened my hair while in labor). The contractions had been going for about and hour and getting stronger so I decided to call our Doula, Kari.  She came over about 7:30am.  I continued to have contractions but I wanted to see Maya and Norah before they became big sisters, so I helped them get dressed in the morning.  Maya cried when I told her baby Sarah was coming,  she said, " I don't want baby Sarah to hurt you."  I think she could see my pain during contractions.

Kari was a great support as I continued to labor at home in my room.  She encouraged me, helped with pain relief and carefully monitored my progression.  Brett was awesome support also, getting what I needed, massaging and helping with the girls.  However, he did slice his finger open with scissors and had to be attended to by our Doula (who is also a nurse) during the middle of me laboring.

At around 9am Kari looked at Brett and said firmly, "get the bags in the car, we need to get to the hospital."  Thankfully the hospital in only 5 minutes away.

When I got there I was shaking (which is apparently a sign of transition).  The triage nurse seemed to be taking her time though....... you know they have to "make sure" I am in labor.    When she checked me I was already dilated to 9cm.  The nurse stopped asking me questions and just wheeled me right over to a delivery room.

It was chaotic when I got in there, lots of people rushing in,  putting like 50 arms bands on me, asking about allergies and moving me to the delivery bed. 

The Dr. was already in the room, she checked my cervix and said I was already dilated to a 10 and could start pushing during the next contraction.   Ahhhh what!!  I felt like saying, "just give me a second" and I think I actually did say that......

But all of a sudden I just looked at the Dr. and said, " I need to push"  and 2 pushes later baby Sarah was out!

I started labor at about 6:15 am and Sarah came out just 3.5 hours later at 9:47am.  How did it happen so fast? Good thing we didn't wait any longer to get to the hospital!

No, I did not have any pain medication, no epidural, and that was part of the point of hiring a Doula, someone who could help me with the pain management.  There is nothing wrong with getting an epidural, I had one with Maya and everything was great with that labor, I also felt like I didn't know any better though.  I think every women and every labor are different and you need to decide what is the best and safest route for you.  As a women I felt like this was something God created me to do, have a baby, and He wouldn't give me a task he didn't think I could handle.  I also did a lot of reading, researching and educating myself on labor.  I did have some intense moments of "I can't do this!"  but Kari was great at reminding me that I already was doing it!

  There were many things about my labor that were much easier this time because I did not have pain medication and I felt like I knew what to do with my body a lot better.  The labor was also much quicker (epidural can slow it down sometimes) and the healing time has been much faster!  Brett says he really feels like everything was much easier for me and him also.

Babies first bath

I am thankful for this experience and so thankful to those who encouraged and support me, my friend Celine, my BFF Sarah, and my Doula, Kari were all wonderful at encouraging me that I could do this.  They all gave me great advice and great resources!  Thank you!

Kari, My Doula

Maya, Norah and Grammy were our first visitors!! They loved meeting baby Sarah

My new little girl

We love her so much!

A life ending and a new life beginning

Today we remembered the loss of Brett's Mom

Frances Rose Goodlin

June 1949-Sept 22nd 2007

But we Also celebrated the birth of our daughter

Sarah Eileen Goodlin

Born: 9:47 am Sept 22, 2011

7lbs 10oz, 21 inches.

Thank you Lord for this Gift

4 years ago-a day we will never forget

Tomorrow will mark the 4 year anniversary of Frans (Brett's mom) passing. She died September 22nd, 2007 from being bucked off a horse. I will never forget where we were, we were in the car driving home from Pueblo, of all places, and Brett got an out of state phone call from his uncle. All I could hear Brett say was, "mom died!" I was so confused, I thought Brett must have been mixed up or misunderstanding what he was hearing. I took over driving and asked what hospital we needed to go to...... but there was no hospital to go to, because she was already at the morgue..... what!?!?

We didn't understand what was going on there was so much confusion. All we knew was that she was bucked off of her horse onto the highway and died instantly (we know this because a paramedic witnessed the accident and tried to re-vive her immediately). This happened early in the afternoon on the 22nd and we were not informed until almost 9pm at night...... Brett's father was out of town and the police did not know who to contact initially.

There were no goodbyes, no last words, no last hug or kiss, no hospital visit just gone in an instant! So much of it reminds of Carrisa's passing... some how if we even had a minute to say goodbye it feels like it would have made a difference.

We have tried to piece together the afternoon Fran had with her horse, Phantom. We know she was near her home, just riding bare back. She spoke with the neighbor, the neighbor went inside and shortly after something spooked the horse, we don't know what, and the horse went running straight for the highway, not far from their home. We don't know why Fran didn't bail off the horse before she got to the highway, maybe she thought she could stop it, but the horse bucked her off on the highway, she hit head first.......no helmet on, no protection.

In so many way I am glad she did not suffer, but for so many reasons, especially for my husband I wish she could have said goodbye. Brett was very close to his mother, they had a very special relationship........ my heart ached for the loss of Fran, but more so my heart ached that my husband had to lose his mother, it is still hard to swallow. I knew what it was like to lose a parent and it was so hard for me to see my husband lose his. Her death has seemed to affect my life so much more that I would have ever thought. I think about her daily, she was the best mom, she knew how to make a blended family work and work well. She loved children so much and just loved loved loved her grandchildren! My last memory with her I will never forget.....she stopped by my work to see the ultrasound picture of Maya when I was just 8 weeks pregnant with her. That is the only time she ever saw our baby......

Oh what it would have been like to have her here today, to meet Maya, Norah and now baby Sarah. She would have been so thrilled to have 3 grand daughters living so close. She left this earth with only 3 grandchildren and now she is about to have 9. Only one of those grandchildren will even have a memory of her..... it makes me so sad for them. It doesn't seem fair.

She would have embraced Norah with full arms of love and helped us through this transition, I miss her.

I know she is with Jesus though, taking care of 3 grand babies in heaven.

This is one of my favorite photos. I actually found it in Carrisa's things after she passed away. Fran is just watching me with my sisters and her smile is priceless

and I can't help but think that baby Sarah will be born tomorrow

last day at work.....at least for a while

So today was my last day at work at Pine Creek Dental.  I didn't think I would make it this far, I was expecting the excitement of calling in and telling my boss I was in labor and not showing up...... oh well.  I have been bursting out of my work shirt with my prego belly and have trapped patients hair against the chair with it!   I am sure a few of my patients have even felt baby Sarah kick their head....sorry.   My feet are usually swollen and I am exhausted by the end of the day, it is time to be done. 

I love the ladies I work with and will miss them while I am gone for 6 months.  And it is strange that I will only be coming back 1 day a week........ I have been there for 5 years and they are like my family.  They have supported me in all aspects of my life and been there for me during some of the most difficult times.  They have mourned with the loss of Fran, Carrisa, and the miscarriage, and have celebrate with the birth of Maya and the pregnancy of Sarah.  We have gone to Florida together, Las Vegas and even hiked mountains together.

My boss has been continually flexible with all of the crazy changes in my life, whether it be having to go to court hearings in the middle of work, or leaving immediately to go California with the loss of a loved one.  He's the best!

I love that we have had so many fun times together, getting to know one another just being silly

I work at a great place!

sorry Dr. Thompson Hula Hoop Fail..

We have even celebrated 2 weddings in our office

And we learn fun dental stuff together

We have spent countless hours and days together, talking about sterile rooms and dirty teeth. We are somehow all fascinated with tarter build up and enormous amounts of plaque. We are weird in our own dental way and that is why I love these girls!  I will be back, so it is not goodbye, just see you in a little while!