So I have been at home for 6 weeks now. I went back to work when Maya was only 6 weeks old, which seems crazy now! I think many women my age would love to stay at home with their children, many already do, and it is really a blessing.
It is a HUGE adjustment for me though. It is hard to just instantly become a stay at home mom of 3, 3 and under! For me so much of it is mental, of what I thought things were suppose to be like and what they really are. It's not like I am spending my days with one infant who sleeps all day, I am busy, ALL day! Sometimes I just feel so ill equip, like I don't know what I am doing, like I am not cut out for this. The days can get long and I miss my husband a lot. Some days even feel lonely............sigh.
I know I have the girls company, and they are so sweet and fun, but I am used to talking with adults on a daily bases and now I am lucky if I can pick up the phone when it rings. I am continually being asked, "where we going," "what we doing today," "what can my do now?" I wipe booties constantly, scrub marker off the carpet, and brush crusty hair. There are days when I feel like all I do is put the girls in time out or tell them "no," but then there are days where I have laughed harder than I can ever remember. My patience has been stretched to the max, but I also have never felt so much love.
I am really not trying to complain, just share what it had been like for me, how I feel. I love being at home with the girls, and I wouldn't change it! I would miss them terribly if I had to work right now, but being at home is not Cake. I finally understand why so many women can afford to stay at home with their kids, its because they can't go anywhere to spend money! It is quite an event to go anywhere right now.
I refuse to only remember this time in my life as a blur though (so many people have told me that is what it was for them). I want to enjoy the girls at these stages, because they are so close in age the cute toddler/babiness will go by fast!
If I wasn't at home, I wouldn't be able to enjoy times like these
The girls wearing my clothes
Making Forts
Taking Maya to Dance class
and seeing so much Love
it is a gift
If anyone has tips, suggestions of how you made it through these days let me know!
Oh Jenni, I so, so understand. Leaving from my full time counseling job to a full time mom was an adjustment and does get lonely at times but you are so very right when you say how extremely priceless this time is. I have my days for sure but I feel so blessed to watch my kids at these sweet ages and witness such cuteness, I know if I was at work I would be heartbroken that I was missing those moments- they are only little for so long :-(. I wish I had advice but I am joining you in the mother of three group in February so I will need your tips :-) You are doing a super great job xoxo
ReplyDeleteJenni...I look at photos of myself with three, five and under..and I think "how did I get through a day"? But I have to say that those were the best days of my life! Seize the Day! You feel like you are stuck in infant/toddler prison and it feels like forever. But you will see that it is truly a vapor! And the best part is that God will bless you 1000 fold for every tear and sweat drop! He will prove himself faithful and you will be praising His name for all your days.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wish to be a stay at home mom..... but then I have days at home where I think I am absolutely going to lose my mind but I love them all so dearly. Just remember, the best advice I can give... Do what works for you and the girls. Nothing is ever by the book!!
ReplyDeleteWow, you just described how I feel most of the time during the day. Some days are "normal" (ie. no tears from ME, no headaches, one or two things actually were completed), and some days are TERRIBLE (ie. timeouts, spankings, tears, "No, no, no!" *sigh* I empathize with your feeling of loneliness at times. It's all too easy to get caught up in the moment of insanity, isn't it. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteDear Jenni, You are doing exactly what the Lord wants you to do now. I have finally learned that we need to embrace every chapter of our lives, because each one has its own joys, purposes, and challenges. My time as a stay-at-home mom was special, but now it seems like a blur and many memories are gone. You are "capturing" the important moments each day through what you do as a mom, a blogger, and a "photo-journalist". Your love, care, and wisdom are a legacy to your family now and investments for eternity. Sometimes it does feel lonely and adult conversations are few, but hang in there and you won't regret it. Love, prayers and hugs from Mom/Grammy
ReplyDeletelove their blanket forts. so wonderful you can be home with them to pour into your sweet babies.
ReplyDeletexoxo