Sunday, November 16, 2014

The end of a season

It's so strange, this time is coming to an end

Of Brett studying of Brett being in school of Brett being gone ALL THE TIME.

He takes his final CPA exam tomorrow (as long as he passes)! Tomorrow people,  I will see my husband again, the kids their father.  I'm not even sure what we are going to do about it..... I mean it's been 4 years, 4 years, almost the entire time we have had kids, sheesh

I have had to manage, adjust, make due, get bye, survive.....just be

No more throwing the kids in the car at 6 to go bring Brett his now cold dinner

No more washing the dishes, stirring the noodles,  wiping a booty and packing lunches all at the same time  (well...... actually there will probably still be some of that)

Messes like this may not feel quite as daunting

and this girl especially, she needs some good daddy time


No more doing so much on my own

but more time, together!

I'm excited for the the new adjustments to come
For me having to re-adjust to life with my husband on a regular basis
although it may be strange at first, I certainly welcome this change!

Time with the man I love!
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Time with our family
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And.....We leave for Houston later this week (eekk so excited!!!)

It will be so good for our family to spend this time together, with family

I have soo much to do, so much to prepare for, especially when it comes to packing for Norah

So anyone want to come detail our dirty mini van or sort through Norahs diabetic supplies?  haha, probably no one is going to jump on that awesome offer.

So I better get going,  so much to do!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

He is God

It's been hard for me to look at photos of Norah

Hard to look at photos before her diabetes diagnosis and see my happy, fully healthy girl and remember those days.... when life wasn't consumed by finger pokes, test strips, pump injections and the constant worry of life or death in the back of my mind.
I can see her health!

It's even harder to see photos of her when she was sick and I didnt' realize it yet.  It actually horrifies could I not have known?!?!   Little Norah must have just felt so terrible on the inside.  I just get a huge pit in my stomach and want to wipe it all away.
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I have never known this type of grieving process~the loss of a healthy child, one that so many parents have experienced, one that I did not know how deeply it would affect me, and change me.

I look back and can see the affects of diabetes in Norah's life in Decemeber of 2013, I just see it in the photos, I can see the weight loss, I see something different... she was not well.

I didn't know it at the time, but she was also loosing hair, one of the many affects of high blood sugar

Her hair is growing back in a now

a whole new layer

and it's reminds me of just how sick she was and that I didn't know

Somedays I don't know how I will ever forgive myself, or if the pain of seeing those pictures will  go away, or if when I mess up treating Norah's blood sugar how the Lord will make up for all the damage I feel I am doing to her body.  All I know is that the Lords Grace is sufficient and He guides me each day.  He forgave me a long time ago when He hung on that cross and died.  and although I have messed up over and over He can overcome my mistakes,

He is God after all

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Thursday, October 30, 2014

A farmers life for me

If I'm being honest I would like to live on a farm.  Well kind of.
I want my kids to be able to wander around outside and explore, play with chickens, and
Sit under that perfect big tree that seems to be at everyone's farm house

But I don't really want any of the work that comes from having a farm
And I don't like flies, animals and stinky things, which seem to come with having a farm

And I definitely need target and Costco within 10 miles of my said farm....
and while I'm throwing out my farm visions lets just add that on my farm NeedtoBreathe would be playing their banjos in the background, while we eat at a picnic table and frolic in the grass.

Can't you just picture it? Delightful!
And if you can remember we even had a barn/farm for Sarah's first birthday

So since we are probably not ever going to live on an un-stinky, work free, close to Target Farm, I might as well take my kids to one any chance we get, right!  And this is one reason, yet again I love fall, it brings on all the farms.   (So if you have a farm, feel free to invite us over :O) )

So this year it was Wishing star farm.  First trip around was a birthday party (brilliant idea)  Just Norah and I got to go to and it was super fun!
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must of been a good corn bin
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Next trip to the farm I gave Maya a mental health day at school and took her Sarah and Levi to wishing star farm

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nasty corn kernal in a cute dimple cheek mouth
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these two, so sweet held hands most of the time
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yee Haw!

Monday, October 13, 2014

Vail Valley 2014

Prior to the mass influx of children we acquired we used to go to Vail, CO in the fall for a soccer tournament that Brett helped to ref yearly.  The best part about this trip, other than it's immense beauty, is that our Condo was free since Brett was a ref.  And if you know anything about Vail, and the type of condo's and properties they have you must know that every place we have stayed as been nothing short of amazing.

Although the director of the tournament said that they do not accommodate large families for the tournament, when Brett inquired about putting our family up for the weekend, the director said she would be sure to get us a 2 bedroom condo with a kitchen this year.  My heart smiled, as we did not deserve this but our family so desperately needed a little get-a-way.  On top of that, the director only scheduled Brett a few games in the later afternoon, so he essentially got to spend the whole time with us.

Vail is one of those places that when you think of what beautiful Colorado looks like, it looks exactly like that!  It's nothing short of breath-taking DSC_1173 

Here are some of my favorites. And can I just say I loved everything about the weekend! The trees. the weather 
the kids 
the food 
the ability to eat both in our room and out of it (with lots of planning) 
the sky 
but mostly the uninterrupted time with family vail12 vail7 vail3 vail8 vail4 DSC_1186 vail6 vail11 vail9DSC_1174
vail5 vail13  Vail is known for there amazing parks, so each day we hit up several and they were nothing short of AMAZING! the girls squealed with delight everything we got to a new park. The parks where creative, fun, modern, beautiful, huge and free!

I tried to grab a few photos of some of the parks, but really the photos do them no justice

IMG_9151 IMG_9128 IMG_9156 IMG_9162 IMG_9152 IMG_9086 The pirate ship park was the favorite of the girls! 

And at one point I grabbed a stranger to take our photo and they captured this. Honestly it melts my heart everytime I look at it. If I ever feel unloved I just need to see that little Levi and the way he is staring at me. He loves me vail1

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Sarah Bug

My little Sarah bug just turned 3!
She is our little princess (living up to that name meaning) in so many ways.
She definitely gives us a run for our money and makes us laugh ALL.THE.TIME.

Some fun Sarah quotes

Me: "Sarah, what do you like about Levi?"
Sarah: "nofing, I don't whike Lebi"

Sarah: Mom can I listen to "spechi-tales?" (vegie-tales)

Sarah: No mom, its the Lizard of Oz!

We did not do a big party for Sarah this year, just a special date and a family dinner.  
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She is just a joy and a delightful child, and it was really hard earlier to year to watch my bouncy girl not quite as bouncy.

Many of you don't know this but we have had a hard year with Sarah's health also.  Around the same time Norah was diagnosed with diabetes Sarah was having some health issues herself.  Well to make it short, Sarah is allergic to Soy, which is in E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G you buy!! It is Monsanto destroying my family and everyone else.  It is harder for to Sarah to eat out than Norah.  I can easily order Norah a burger (no bun), grilled chicken and veggies.  Well with Sarah soy is laced in everything when you go out to eat.  For example there is not one food item Sarah can have at McDonalds or Taco Bell, they are all laced with Soy.  Not that I want her to eat there ever anyway.  Plus she is also still sensitive to dairy, she can have cheese and dairy bake into items, but no milk, ice cream or yogurt. Eating at our house is fun, but it's good because we are all moving in a healthier direction, not perfect, but getting there.

Soy is horrible for all of us though (unless it is fermented). Just do a little research.  So we stick to Coconut Aminos at our house if we want something Asian flavored.

And for Sarah, she knows most things she can't have and that mom packs her special snacks.  She tells people, "no, I can't have that it gives me fast poops!"  And if Norah can't have something Sarah interjects with, "that gives Norah sugars."

She is just her own little self, with squishy cheeks, cheesy smiles, and lots of love!

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"Mommy say you love me too!!" 

Sarah, I love you too!