Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Seasons of Change

This season of life is just bringing a ton of change! Not just with a baby coming and Maya starting kindergarten, but with a good friend who just moved and me finishing my job at Pine Creek Dental as a hygienist.

Yep, I am officially done!

I know I only worked one day a week, a really amazing set up!

But all summer long I went back and forth, should I just take maternity leave or should I just step away from work for a long while, to put in my notice.???  Brett and I talked and prayed about it for a long time!

I finally had to be realistic.  With 4 really small children it just isn't possible for me to work one day a week right now.  Not that I am not physically capable, but that it is so hard to find childcare for a reasonable cost and with someone I can trust....... with that many kids

So this season calls for a total break from working outside the home.  I can tell you in a million years I never pictured this.  I love my job, the office I worked for, the girls I worked with, plus I worked so hard to become a hygienist, so it is bitter sweet !  
But heck, has any of my life ever been what I pictured it?  
haha, yeah not really.

I wanted to celebrate with the girls who have been so much a part of my life.  I really see them as family and it will be hard not getting to see them weekly.  They have laughed with me, cried with me, and just celebrated life with me.  They have seen me in some of my best moments and some of my worst moments and been right by my side.   We have spent countless hours laughing about how peoples gums bleed when I stab them with a sharp instrument and getting excited about tons of tarter build up!  ( I hope you know I am kidding, well not really about the tarter, it is so fun to clean off).

 So I had a little brunch for them, really just a small thing I could do for them after the countless things they have done for my family and me. 
DSC_1016 DSC_1014

We had some yummy food together
  DSC_1009 DSC_1008 DSC_1017

and some tasty drinks

And shared many stories together
  DSC_1027 DSC_1033

love these girls

So here's to my early Wednesday mornings of seeing Janices smiling face

hearing Laurens crazy stories

Having tori touch my baby belly and make artistic pictures
The is a drawing reenacting Maya's first day of school

entering my room where I have treated thousands of patients

the dr stepping right up to have fun with situations that probably make his life harder DSC_0417 

and treating people as more than just a mouth, but as people, who have real lives, and real issues.
I will miss the tarter, the stain, the insane stories, but more than anything I will miss the people.  
The ones who are so much more than patients, but I truly a part of my life

It's really not goodbye to being a hygienist though, I still hope to sub on occassion and possible return when Norah is in Kindergarten and the baby turns one, we will see what doors are open though.

It's more like see you later

Sunday, August 25, 2013

9 months Pregnant!

Ummmm I am full term, that is 9 months pregnant with little brother!!!
say what?

How crazy is that?

I always feel better when I get to this point in the pregnancy because if the baby had to come he would be ok :O)  his chances of surviving outside of the womb are very good at this point

although, I think he still wants to be in there a little longer, which is fine with me.

My due date is September 13th.
Maya says he is coming the 12th,
but for some reason I can't get Sept 15th out of my head.
We will see though.

One of my favorite things about labor is the not knowing, I love that is it a surprise!!  I am such a planner with everything that this is one of the things in life I just love not knowing the exact time or day for! 
Although, now it is a bit more complicated with multiple children.

You know, this has been my first pregnancy not surrounded by death.
When I was pregnant with Maya, Fran died
My 2nd pregnancy was a misscariage
My 3rd Pregnancy with Sarah, was right after Carrisa died and we were adopting Norah

My 4th pregnancy, with little brother has been healthy and healing in so many ways.  Yes, I have had the emotions that come along with pregnancy, but I have not had the added emotions of pain and loss right next to me.  I have been able to celebrate and enjoy the full miracle inside of me! 
I am so thankful for that, more than anyone can know.

It is bitter sweet as the pregnancy comes to an end.  I really can't wait to meet our son and am so very eager, but knowing that this may be the last time I enjoy the stage of life, that is, being pregnant is a little sad.... or a lotta sad

I saw a pregnant friend of mind do a photo similar to this with her girls and loved it!
So here's to the anticipation, the not knowing, the excitement, the joy, all that is just right around the corner! 
Here's to 9 months of pregnancy!

Monday, August 19, 2013

What's in a name

Naming all of our children has been fun, challenging, and meaningful all at once.  Maybe even for our family it is a little different, just with all the loss.  Sometimes you just need a little something to hold on to that person, even if it is just a piece of their name.

Our first daughter Maya Rose: "Strong woman, a rose."   When we named Maya Rose we included Brett's mom's name (Francis Rose) with hers, as special meaning and significance since Fran passed away while we were pregnant with Maya.

And our 2nd daughter, Norah Olivia: "Woman of honor, compassion, light"
 Although we did not get to choose her name at birth, we did get to choose what her name would be when we adopted her, which was special, because we kept all of her original name, giving her 2 middle names and just added our last name to hers.  I really wanted to honor the name my sister gave her at birth, to know where she came from, but at the same time let her know she is forever a Goodlin!

And of course Sarah Eileen which means " Princess of light" and that is exactly what she is!  Her middle name "Eileen" was given  to honor and remember my sister " Carrisa Eileen."

So you see, all of our girls were not just given special names, with special meanings but names to remember those before them. We wanted it to be similar for our son.  So part of his name will be his own, but another part will be to honor and remember those before him.  It is nothing profound, it is simple and common, but it is very special and meaningful to our family, and helps to carry on a bit of our legacy.

That is why when I decorated his room I wanted the names of those before him, those who are ever so missed,  but forever a part of our lives, to be written on his walls.  Not just the names, but what they meant.  To have the legacy forever embedded into who he is.  Although our son will never know my brother or father, I want him to know who they were and how they changed so many of us.

When I started this projec,t of looking up the meanings of my dad and brothers names, I was so excited, I knew this would be sentimental and very special, and maybe even symbolic.  I also wanted to included my husbands name,  Brett, he has not passed away, but he is and will be my sons legacy in every way!

I looked up my dad's name "Eugene Paul":
My dad wasn't just well born, his life was well lived, and he was so full of humility
 Then I looked up my brothers name, " Darren Kelly"
Dareen was "wealthy" in a way most of us will never knew, he knew the true riches of heaven, and he is still today one of the bravest warriors I will ever know, he fought cancer with the biggest spirit ever.

I think we are doing pretty good so far, I am feeling sentimental, emotional, and excited about the legacy that stands before our son.  Not just because of their names, but becuase how theirs lives were lived out.

And then I looked up Brett's name......."Brett Thomas"
 and that is where the sentimental feeling left and the laughing began.  I love my husbands name, sweet and simple, but the ONLY meaning we could find for it is "from great Brittan'  no strong man, or annointed one, just simply "from great Brittan"  or even better it means, "the girls version of Brittany"   Surely, surely there had to be another meaning out there?  nope, nothing....... well the urban dictionary has a different meaning, but you can look that up for yourself.

I thought for sure Brett's middle name, "Thomas" would make up for the lack of special meaning in his first name.  I mean Thomas is Biblical and strong right?  and you know what it means??
 "twin" or "one who doubted"  hahahah sheesh, we just can't win here

Brett does have quite a few look-a0likes out there, so twin, yes?
 At this point my husband is not feeling so confident in his name any more and we are both laughing,  actually I am in tears laughing, which is not helping his self esteem at all  or the fact that he wanted to give our son the name Brett.  Now that option seems to be out of the question.  and I just ask, " Do you know why your mom gave you that name?" and his response was, "she just liked it." And I am  totally pregnant and laughing ridiculously more than I should, slighty erratic and almost on the virge of actually crying missing Fran and wishing she was here so I could ask her myself.

  Then I just decide to go with it, the put his name on the wall with all the others.  I mean, I am just going to embrace his name, and the meaning, and forever make him speak in a Brittish accent.  I love my husband, and I know he has a great legacy despite the random meaning of his name and I want his name to stand above my sons, just like everyone else.

I know we are not sharing the name of our son yet, and not to be mean, and it is nothing profound, his name is simple and common, but we just want to keep it to our family for now :O) And mayb to irritate everyone just a little :O)

So what's in a name?  For our family, it seems to hold something more sentimental, something more meaningful and prophetic, but apparently for Fran (Brett's mom) it was all about just liking the sound.
 Either way, how a person lives their life is what really defines them and I hope and pray that all of my children will live a life that is defined by the Lord and Love.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Maya's first day of Kindergarten

Still can't believe this tiny baby of ours started Kindergarten!


And how did that day go you ask?

well..... of course there is a story with it!

Brett took the day off, because it was a special one
Maya wakes up soo happy and excited,  she gets ready and eats breakfast, see

Then we do her first day of school pics
mayakindergarten2 mayakindergarten3 DSC_0725 DSC_0722 DSC_0735

And then it all goes down hill....

I go get Sarah & Norah out of their beds so we can leave like now!

But, Norah peed the bed everywhere...... great.  Well, I will just have her get dressed really quick and deal with the pee mess later.

We load up the stroller with Norah & Sarah, since we walk to school (yay for that!)

I am impatiently waiting for Brett in the driveway, so I run inside for 2 seconds to see where he is

Meanwhile, Norah gets out of the stroller which proceeds to push it down our driveway 100mph toward the street with Sarah in it!!

I scream and run (or waddle or whatever a hysterical pregnant women does)

The stroller hits the curb hard and goes into the middle of the street! but doesn't tip, flip or crash into any cars..... thank the Lord.

Sarah is crying, of course she is, I am sure it was scarey and moms response didn't help

I am shaken up, and just irritated and want to leave....... not a good start

So we leave, as we are walking, I grab my camera to take a few photos of our 2 minutes journey to school to find that my camera lense has shattered from the stroller incident...... my $150 Christmas present lense........... NOT A GOOD DAY!

I try to hold it together for Maya, but am a bit of an emotion mess, you know first child in kindergarten, pregnant, one child almost dies in stroller, other child in stroller is crying, and now favorite camera lense is broken.  EEEKKKK!!

Maya comforts  and hugs me ans says, "It's ok mommy you can get a new one"  such a sweet girl

I take Maya inside her classroom.  Meanwhile Brett exams my camera.

Maya does great, she sits right down and doesn't have one hesitation.  She doesn't even want me to stay.  I linger for a few minutes since there are so many parents hanging around, but Maya doesn't need me, she has already forgotten about me :O)

I miss her already, sigh

I go outside and Brett informs me that my camera lense is not shattered, it was just the $20 filter over the lense.  Oh my gosh, thank the lord!

We walk home to find a Starbucks drink sitting on the porch for me from a friend, who anticipated it might be a hard day for me.  Made my whole day,  I have a friend like that!   Seriously, 10 minutes before the day was an utter mess!  Now instantly, I have an alive and well Sarah, and non-broken camera lense and a caramel macchiato in my hands.  That turned around quickly.

And as for Maya.... well I am pretty sure she was made for school.  When we went to pick her up from school, she was up front and in charge as the class line leader.  She instantly informed us that was the 2nd time that day she was the "line leader"  and she was just beaming.  And the rest of the afternoon Maya  just non-stop talked about school.

And as for me.  I am much more emotionally stable (all within the limits of pregnancy of course). The house is quite without Maya but we are doing well, just enjoying the house with only 2 kids for like a day(1 month until due date!!).  And I am truly blessed to have a friend that would go out of their way to bring me Starbucks, not because it was specifically Starbucks (although that is awesome) but because she even thought of doing such a kind thing on a day that others may not realize is hard, love her and her friendship!

You can read Maya's kindergaten interview here MayaKindergarteninterview

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Baby Brothers Room

Sorry to keep you waiting, but I have some photos of a completed baby brothers room!

My favorite part about the room was Brett's involvement.  He picked out many of the items and really did almost all of the work.  I could see in his heart the excitement for doing something non-pink!!

Welcome to my first sons room!

brotheroom10 brotherroom1

You can probably all guess where I got 90% of the decor
  DSC_0830 DSC_0814 DSC_0804 DSC_0810 DSC_0826

I knew I wanted to do something special with the legacy of names before our son
  DSC_0787 DSC_0789 DSC_0790


And I had to put a few soccer things in the room in honor 
of my husband

This room is filled with lots of love & prayers
The art in the frame was done at my baby shower
It is a tree with all of the finger prints of the women who were there
  brotherroom8 brotherroom6 brotherroom7 brotherroom4

And I want him to know how he was loved by his sisters 
even before he was born


 My son, you are already so well loved...  
Can't wait for you to sleep here