Monday, February 3, 2014
one of the lies of parenting
I might get some flack for writing this, but I keep seeing articles and reading blogs about this topic and it's been bothering me.
It is a lie that many parents are believing, the lie that, "once you have children you cannot have a clean house ever again"
I get it, life is harder, there isn't as much time, your children are very important, way more important than a clean home in fact, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice a clean home, does it? Why can't it be both, why can't you take good care of your home and your children?
There is this comradery going around, the messy house comradery, it makes us all feel better when we see other people have a messy house and don't have it all together, because it is real life. I totally understand that, it is real life, my house isn't always perfect, just ask my husband and don't look in my basement. But I think there is a point where it becomes an excuse or just plain laziness. "Welp, I've got kids, I don't need to clean the bathroom, ever."
I've heard things thrown around like, " Sorry, you can't be my friend if you aren't willing to come over to my messy house." I would never stop being someone's friend if they have a messy house, that is totally silly and life is being lived, but at the same time when I invite people over I want them to feel welcome and important and if my house is trashed, it doesn't quite give off that same welcoming vibe. And believe me, there is a difference between toys strewn about and just a plain disaster.
We are also called to be stewards, stewards of the things we have, like our home, it should be taken care of. Of course it is much harder to take care of a home the more children you have, but you just have to figure out how to do things a little differently. And cleaning under the couch just doesn't get done as frequently.
I don't spend hours cleaning, I don't have time for that, nor do I ever need to spend 3 hours cleaning my home before someone comes over, because I keep up on it. I do bits at a time, that is how it works in this stage of life. Seriously, why can't I set aside 15 minutes during nap time and clean the bathrooms, or 10 minutes in the evening picking up? I easily can waste that much time on facebook. I also give my kids responsibility, yes they make their own beds even though they look lumpy, it's the habit I want them to have. I know everyone's strengths are different, for some people cleanliness is more important or easier than it is for others, but don't believe that it is impossible to keep up with your home when you have kids.
Please don't think I am judging your or saying you are not a good parent/person if your home is not clean. That is not my heart at all. And there are probably times that I should be playing with my kids rather than sweeping (still working on that) but there are also times when I am sick, or my family is, and there are seasons where my house isn't a well kept up, but I just don't ever want to believe the lie that the season of a clean home is when my kids move out. I don't buy it, nor to I live like that. It's balance.
It is possible, it is possible to have 4 kids and a clean house and be ok.
at 8:25 PM