Off to the hospital we went. (If you missed part 1 read here)
At least Norah and I. Brett had to situate our other children.
I had nothing with me. I don't think I was quite prepared for them to tell me to go to the hospital right away!
So we went, checked in through ER, admitted to the pediatric ward and then eventually sent up to the pediatric ICU (picu), since Norah's blood sugar wasn't lowering. It was the best place to have Norah to manage her symptoms. And as soon as we arrived at the Picu there was a warm welcome and embrace from all of the sweet nurses. I knew instantly Norah was in good hand and she was, my only consolation for those 3 days.
And I was in survival mode. It was all a fog. I had no brain space to even have any emotions, I just needed to walked, one foot in front of the other, remembering to breath, to pump milk for Levi, to make sure to remind Papa to have Sarah go pee pee on the potty, to remember I needed to take bites of food, to drink water, to do a million things at once and then to listen to the piles and piles of information we were being bombarded with.
But still completely living in disbelief of Norah's diagnosis.
Brett returned to the hospital after getting the kids situated, I need him there, not just for Norah and for support, but to have someone there with their brain screwed on!
Norah loved the experience at first: the attention, the tv in her room, the bed that moved! She even said "this is awesome!"
But as the hours ticked and Norah was not allowed to eat anything and she continued to get poked and prodded the tears began to flow, the frustration and tiredness came out and Norah just simply wanted to go home....... she cried " I just want to see my sisters, I just want to go home......"
No parent, no parent ever wants to see there child like this. No matter what the circumstance, it is just heartbreaking. You just want to wrap them up in your arms and absorb ever ounce of sadness and pain....... and our circumstance was much much lighter than many going on in rooms around us....
And the worst part..... I had to leave. I stayed for the longest I possibly could. I battled on what to do. She needed me, but so did my other children, and Levi really needed food, which could only come from me. I knew Brett would take care wonderful care of Norah, but I think it is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, to leave my child in the hospital...... and as I drove home in the blizzard I sobbed....
I went to bed that night hoping, praying that I would wake up and it would all be gone.....
as night turned into day, and my mind couldn't turn off the bad dream did not go away
so I woke up, a heart full of heaviness, and had to get right into mom mode and figure out where my other children were going to go for the day. After driving on a sheet of ice (again my favorite thing) to get Levi to a friends house, Papa picked up the girls and I headed to the hospital.
Upon entering I saw Norah's smiling face as she was just delivered breakfast! There was nothing sweeter than seeing a huge grin from her, just knowing that she could have food now made everything better and warmed mamas heart!
|I let Norah wear my jammies the first night since I could not be with her|
And then our day was bombarded with nothing but information, education and how to be an at home nurse for Norah. We were taught all about diabetes. How to calculated her carbs, how to check her blood sugar, how to know how much insulin to give Norah and how to administered it (shots). We were given piles and piles of books, we met with a nutritionist and a family life counselor, we stared at each other in disbelief and remembered to breath.
We made it through that time by God's grace and with your love and prayers. We had a wonderful nurse, who just loved Norah.
We had many visitors, including Norah's pre-school teachers, it was just so sweet that they came, both of their eyes flooded with tears as they saw Norah.
I'm pretty sure anyone's day would be better surrounded by these pretty ladies
Another pre-school mom brought Brett and I starbucks and PEI WEI (our favorite). My works ladies came showering Norah with gifts and with more food! My husbands boss even came! A group of Brett's co workers put together a basket of gifts for all of the children, so sweet!
Friends even picked up my mom from the shuttle and brought her to the hospital to see Norah.
We had to stay an addition night so they could continue to monitor Norah's blood sugar, but at least we had my moms help now... so day 3 of the hospital was much a repeat of the same, poking, proding and lots of education and info
lots of finger pokes
Norah's favorite kitty from aunt Janice, she wants it anytime she has to get a shot
surrounded by love
Despite the hardship of the few days, my faith and love in people only grew! You, many of you reading this have reached out, have helped! I was just shocked at the group of pre-school moms who reached out to help, moms who I only talk to 5 minutes a day as I drop off and pick up Norah, they were helping just like a family would. Several of my close friends have stepped up from the mom with several young children of her own, to the mom in the middle of in-vitro fertilization, to the neighbor whose son has had significant health problems recently. Oh and Mallorie, Mallorie the life savor..... our nanny I can't even begin to tell you all she has done to help! And Papa, I am just still in awe of papa, who dropped everything to watch my girls all on his own.......You all didn't let your own hardships get in the way.
And now our new journey begins, the one that is more difficult than a few days in the hospital. The one that starts a new life of living with a child who will need daily monitoring and injections for survival. If there was ever a time I needed to remember that my children's lives are not in my hands, but His,
it is now....