Easter was a good break

sorry for the lack for the lack of posts lately.  As you can probably imagine Brett and I have spent every last waking minute the girls are sleeping trying to get stuff done around the house.  It is coming along slowly and surely and we are completely exhausted.  I can't even imagine buying a fixer-upper.  Our house is new and it is still tons of work!  The girls are loving the excitement of a new house and have even gotten to play in our dirt backyard.  Yep, its just dirt, no landscaping yet and I am a completely awesome mom and just let them sit there and play in the dirt.  It is like luxury compared to our previous no yard.

We do have a deck, which is a lifesavor, but the girls could only resit the calling of the dirt for so long.

Easter was a good day to take a break from house stuff,  and stop and remember the cross.  Well I at least took a break  from house stuff and I think Brett still hung a few photos, the OCD in him just couldn't resist. 

Here are just a couple Easter photos from the day.  Happy Easter! 

Yami got Baptized today, such a special moment as a family

love her reaction!

 

 

We did a mini egg hunt at home

Maya got the most eggs, anyone surprised?

Sarah looked so cute in Norah's old dress, I had actually never seen Norah wear it, so it was special

look at me mom!

no Norah doesn't have cavities, or fillings, that is just chocolate in her teeth

why yes, Sarah's does have a beat up face, she ate the cement on a walk

with Papa & yami

the best we could get!

the move

Moving: hardest most physically and emotionally thing I have gone through besides death.

Mom: Amazing rock star who made moving sane and possible.  Very sad she left today.

Pregnancy: Yes, still throwing up at 15 weeks,  the morning of moving day

Weather:  72 degree one week before moving. 

 Moving day, 15 degrees and blizzarding, not fun.

People: 12, who said they would help.  5 people who actually came, lame blizzard.

Babysitter: lifesaver on moving day bringing 3 of her teenage friends to help

Guests:  Yes, already had our first overnights guests, couldn't have asked for a better family to come!

Future Guests:  We would love to have more, please come!

 Sleep: Extremely needed in this house

Double Oven: Simply Amazing

 

Milk: Does a body good

Stress, Exhaustion, Hard work, Disappoint: All worth the move

18 months

18 months.  That is how old Norah was when her mommy died.  That is how old Sarah is now.  It is such a strange feeling, realizing how little Norah was, yet how much she knew and was capable of and what it would be like for Sarah right now if something were to happen to me.  Really, Norah was just a baby!

  

I look at Sarah and how much she has developed, how she is so attached to me, her world is "mama"  She always wants me, wants me to hold her, to play with her, to watch her.  She is so excited when I come home, she knows I have been gone, and I know in my heart that if I were to never return she would know something was wrong.  "Why did mama never come home, did I do something wrong?"  It leaves me with a knot in my stomach.  Just life being stripped away from the one person you are most attached to, and to never have to again, that is what happened to Norah.

This also make me realize how remarkable Norah's attachment and bonding to our family has been.  She was young enough to not understand what happened to her mom, but old enough to know something was wrong and  that we were not her parents, that we were not a regular part of her life.   I just think back to when we got her, how it was just in a matter of days  before she was calling me mommy, it is truly amazing and a gift from God.  I actually think one of the biggest helps was Maya, if we had not had Maya I think the transition would have been harder.  Norah got to be in a room with Maya, play with Maya, copy what Maya was calling us, "mommy & daddy".  Maya really has been the key and the bond and relationship between these two sisters is soooo very special.

Sarah turning this age leaves me with a sad feeling and realization of just what an impact loosing a mommy at this age really means.

 

these walls

We close on our current home in 2 days and move is 6!!

It is a strange feeling, leaving this house.  So much of me inside is just so eager to leave, to get out of the packing mess, to have a yard, and to not feel like the walls are enclosing in on me any longer.  But there are a lot of emotions attached to this house also.

When Brett and I moved in just 6 years ago it was just the 2 of us.  Our first home together.  It was such an exciting time, buying a house, settling in and creating new friendships close by, not realizing all that the walls surrounded us had in store for the next 6 years.

The person buying our house is a single male, which is slightly funny since he didn't mind all of the pink included in the house, it actually somehow makes me appreciate him more.  However, little will he know all of the stories and all the life that the walls that surround him hold.

These walls share so much laughter, and the building of friendships, the sounds of guitar hero and late nights and dinner with our friends.

These walls tell a story of a beginning, full of excitement of the life of a couple who like so many others wanted a place to start a family. 

These walls tell of the start of that journey of a tiny baby girl conceived, a baby that would change them forever.  That would allow them to see the joy of life, to understand so much more of how much their heavenly father loves them.

But then these walls tell of a devastating loss of a mother.  They hold the tears and sounds of a completely unexpected death during that pregnancy.  They hold a few memories of that mom, what seems like just a few minutes of her knowing the exciting news of a grand baby to come.

These walls hold those very first tiny cries of when that baby girl came.  They hold that night the parents stayed up so late, although exhausted, but some how to excited to sleep on the night they first held that baby girl in those walls.

And then the walls, they see and hear that child grow. The squeals and delights that fill the walls.  The help protect her and surround her and keep her safe.

Many years later these walls know of another baby conceived and yet lost just a few weeks later.... they again hold the tears and sadness as this family mourns knowing their family won't grow like expected.

These walls hold the memory of special girl, so dear to the families heart, one that the walls got to know a little as she lived with the family for several months.  The walls were blessed by her presence and forever changed, just like the family for knowing her.

These walls know of the completely unexpected this family has encountered and has yet to come.

These walls know of the deep cries and moans on Dec 11, 2010 when yet again a devastating loss of a sister has occurred.  These walls hold that raw moment, they hear it like no one else.  They see and hear the intensity of the loss, the deep wound and scar it has caused and has forever changed these walls and this family.

Yet these walls feel the warmth and hope of yet another baby conceived.  They hear the laughter and feel the joy of the family who knows a God who s always full of surprises.  They hold that moment, that day when a seed of hope is planted within that family, within the walls.

These walls hold another incredibly special moment, when a sweet little 20 month old girls was brought into these walls, to be kept forever. These walls surrounded her and protected her the instant she came inside.  They knew she was precious, they knew the loss she held was deep.  They new that something special had happened, unlike anything it had every know.  These walls held the excitement of a family growing, experiencing change and difficulty, heartache and love all at once.

These walls see the bonds grow between the 2 little girls.  It sees that sweet love between the two cousins, now sisters.

And then these walls hear the sweet cries of a tiny baby again, a sound they have been longing to hear.  The sound of a sister added to the family.  The sound of rejoicing.  The sound of hope.  The sound of once was a family of 2, now a family of 5.

And these walls watch these 3 sisters grow.

And for a final time these walls hear the exciting news of another baby yet to come.  The walls rejoice, but hold a sense of sadness as they know they will be no longer be able to hold this family, the one that started with just 2.  These walls treasure the last moments of the squeals, the dancing, the delight this family has given them.  And this family will forever be grateful for the 6 years these walls gave them.

Now these walls will get a fresh start and hopefully a fresh coat of paint with the new owner.  They will have new memories to build and hold, but hopefully they will never forget they ones they started with.

And the carpet.... well it holds more poop, pee and vomit than the new owner would ever care to know.....

10 days

We move in 10 days.... hopefully

Our appraisal isn't looking great.  We knew this would be our biggest obstacle with selling our house.  Basically the appraiser said she is having a hard time finding that our home is worth as much as we sold it for..... (there aren't any houses similar to ours that have sold for the same price recently) Knowing that our home sold in 5 days with 2 offers, and the current market is on the rise, we absolutely believe our home is worth as much as we sold it for, we just need the papers to match that.

We have packed a lot, but it still looks like nothing is packed!  We have to much stuff!

My mom is coming today!  I don't think I have ever been more excited for my mom to come!!

I feel so blessed and thankful for so many of your kind words towards our growing family.

Our crawl space completely overwhelms me with everything in it, yikes!

Norah fell asleep on me the other day, that NEVER happens!

I hope I like food again someday

Brett is in Atlanta, yep, right before we move. Keeping it exciting 

And why yes, Norah did cut her hair while he was gone again.  This time at school, about 1.5 inches in the front, the teacher stopped her right away, but told me when I picked up Norah. Oh Norah....

The Dr. I work for posted this sign at work

haha poor guy, someone is always pregnant (usually me, ha!)

Today Maya brought home a "love" book from school. And inside, along with all of her classmates she had drawn something that she "loved". When I saw this picture it just made my heart so happy!

She really does love her, they are even holding hands

On Goodlin #4

I am sure we surprised a few of you and left your minds reeling with a few questions with the announcement of our upcoming Goodlin :O)

This pregnancy is a huge reason why my blog and my life has been a little slower lately...... compared to all of my pregnancies this first trimester and into the second has been the hardest, just lots of really debilitating, yucky sickness, but lets not linger on that, it always eventually goes away and then I love being pregnant.

And you thought moving with 3 kids was hard......haha lets just add on a pregnant mom to the scenario.  Anyone want to help? You know everything always happens at once for us, right?

OH yeah, and that would be a huge reason why we are moving, adding another little Goodlin to the household, we were past max capacity.

I have been so nervous and anxious about telling people about this pregnancy.  I've heard people stop congratulating you after 3 kids..... and I have been afraid of what people will think, that I am crazy, and 4 kids is way to many,  and why would we ever do that?

Part of the reason that I think this is because I used to be that person, that one who thought having lots of kids was kind of crazy (sorry mom I don't really think you are crazy).  But it is amazing how God changes a persons heart over time.  After Norah came into our life every perception about what I thought our family was suppose to look like changed.  My heart changed and I began to better understand Gods view point a little better, what a precious gift children are, and He calls us to expand his Kingdom through our own children and that He didn't have a max size for our family set at 3 children, no matter what others thought.  I know this is not for every family, some are great with 1 child, others like 10.  I have just better learned to not care so much about how other people choose to build their families, God calls each of us differently.

Not just that, but in our hearts we were not done.  After we had Sarah and I bought her a matching Christmas stocking, but I didn't just buy her one, I bought another one for a total of 6 matching stockings... just in case someday we needed another matching one.

 I couldn't answer the question, "are you guys done yet?"  It was always, "I don't know".

 I couldn't get rid of any big obnoxious bulky baby items.... and they kind of drive me crazy, but I couldn't let them go.  Even when my mom asked me if she could get rid of baby stuff at her house, I told her "No".

And Brett, he has always been on board for one more child and is more than excited! If it wasn't for my  bi-polar. " I want another baby,"  I don't want another baby,"  "I want another baby," " I don't want another baby, " now I am crying at the thought of not being able to have another baby, we may have been pregnant even sooner.   Brett cares much less about what other people think, and is more annoyed by the comments of a few that "it better be a boy this time."

And another thing that has been very hard is knowing those that are close to us that are struggling with infertility.   There is almost a sense of guilt knowing that becoming pregnant has not been an issue for us, but for some very special people it has been extremely hard and heartbreaking situation.  I have so much hope for them, but my heart also hurts that they have to be reminded further by another person around them getting pregnant again.

And about the gender.  Yes, we will find out, as for telling others once we have found out, we aren't quite sure yet :O)  We are not having another child to try to have a boy, that is silly.  We simply want to have another blessing of a child, boy or girl.  And if it is a girl we will be more than thrilled, it is what we know, we have everything for a girl, and there are many things that would be so much easier.  We would be blessed with a boy as well, although we would be clueless as what to do and he certainly would have a lot of mommies.  So you do not need to be hopeful for us that it is a boy, just be hopeful that it is a healthy baby.  Heck, we have an adopted child and still have all girls, so nothing will surprise us.

Oh and by the way, I think it's a girl.  Because the sickness, the cravings, because we would be the family to have 4 girls and it would be amazing!

Also, it is just one baby, not 2, although that would have been hilarious, for like a minute

The girls are so very excited! 

The baby is due September 13th

We have known since the end of December and I knew right away because I woke up in the middle of the night "on fire!" so I knew my body had to be cooking something.

So love our hate us, think we are crazy or not.  This is our life.  The Goodlins.

A Play room full of Suprises

At the beginning of the year we decided to transform Sarah's room into a playroom and have all the girls sleep in one room.  Toys all in one room, clothes and beds in the other, brilliant idea and so much easier, right?

Well, little did we know that our house would sell just a short month later, and although it is still a playroom, it is mostly boxed up an not quite so cute anymore.  That lasted long, ha!

We got a few photos before we started packing, wish I would have grabbed a few more.  So take a look at what no longer exists.

Not a whole lot changed other than taking the crib and dresser out and replacing them with toys, so classy

My favorite part is the enlarged Engineer B&W prints from Staples, they were like $3 each!

Oh and there is one surprise in the playroom too

Can you guess who the girls are saving a seat for coming this September?

 Keeping it crazy, keeping is real, keeping it honest, at LifewiththeGoodlins.

The Dinner Table

There are few things I enjoy more in this life than sitting around a dinner table and enjoying a meal with people.  There is something about that space, about sharing a meal together, about talking and laughing and living life. Whether out to eat or at home the dinner table is where so much of life is lived, not just with our family but so many of our friends.  Even in the Bible, Jesus enjoyed the last supper with his friends, and I love that!

The Dinner table is a place where so many of my childhood memories are kept.  Where I remember my family whole, as one, together and everything was good.

It is a place that holds grand stories and so much laughter!

It is a place where I spent time getting to know my husband, talking eating and learning about one another.

It is a place where friendships are formed and exciting announcements are made!

It is a place where food is enjoyed, or not always so enjoyed

It is a place where our children have learned so many of their firsts: 

first tastes, first huge messes, first lesson's

It is a place where our children first learned to talk to Jesus

It is a place where our children have learned manners, how to be polite, say "please," "thank you" and "excuse me" and eat quietly (still working on that)

It is a place where I have my last memory of my sister, one I will never forget

It is a place where something vile, like poop, is always brought up while eating

It is a place filled with Love, a place that should never be forgotten

 

So invite a friend over, sit down with your family, share a meal, share life