I might die before he finishes

Many of you may already know this, but Brett is studying to become a CPA, you know one of those fancy accountants.  It's not just one ridiculously difficult test, but 4, yep 4 insanely difficult tests!!!! People this is not joke, it's harder than the BAR exam.   Why don't we just throw in that Brett is working a full time job, has a family with 4 small children, and one was in the PICU for 3 days, 3 days prior to his first exam!!  Lets just add in some more obstacles, maybe they should have Brett take his test blindfolded, with one arm behind his back, or skipping a jump rope while he's at it.

But really, it's kind of insane.  He is doing 4 incredibly difficult and expensive study courses before each exam, which means I see him for a total 30 minutes a week.  I mean, I might actually die before he finishes because I'm going crazy!  Honestly, I don't know how single moms do it or military wives, I have the utmost respect for you because I NEED my husband, I'm so pathetic without him. That is one reason I have been blogging less, there is just no time at night for me to even breathe.  I pack lunches, count carbs, clean up the disaster of a kitchen from the dinner I tried to make while watching 4 children who need to do homework, pee in the potty, play with outlets and chemicals and eat cat food, lets just throw in a few whines, breaking up an argument,  tupperware unloaded from the cupboard,  3 different dietary needs and doing a math equation to count all the carbs Norah eats so I can medicate her properly.  Ahhh the Joys!  I'm living a life of dreams :O)

And then after bathing, nursing, braiding hair, reading books, brushing teeth and going potty I'm usually in the kitchen baking for Norah and setting up to survive the next day.

And then I crash............ or cry, or stare at a wall

I'm glad he is doing it though.  As much as I hate not having him around much right now, I couldn't be more proud that he is doing this.  There have been many times where quitting would be so much easier for both of us, for all of us, but not in the long run.

 There are moments where I get so lost in the stress of now it is so hard for me to see the end, it is so blurry and my days are long and hard.  It's such a mental battle of knowing there is an end in sight but surviving and struggling through the days I face now.

Tomorrow he takes his 3rd exam, he has already passed 2!  And after this exam he will have a few weeks break and then off to study intensely for 6 weeks for his final exam (as long as he passes #3).  

I mean it's all worth it in the end right.  They get this guy for a dad :O)