Monday, April 23, 2012


Sometimes at night after Maya and Norah have gone to bed I spend just a few minutes with Sarah........

Sometimes we sit together in her rocking chair and I sing to her

Sometimes I realize how terrible my voice is, but then I get over it and I keep singing

Sometimes as we sit together, Sarah stares up and me and touches my face

Sometimes I begin to wonder......I wonder what if something happened to me, would she remember this moment of us sitting together, of me singing, of my voice? would she remember me?

Then I begin to wonder what Norah was like as a baby.  did she look into her mommy's eyes, did she keep that memory with her? does she remember her voice, her face, her smell?

Sometimes I wonder why this has all happened

Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when Norah has fully realized everything that has happened

Sometimes I wonder why my family

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Fran were here playing with her grand daughters

Sometimes I wonder what my dad would have been like as a grandpa

Sometimes I wonder if my brother would have gotten married and had children of his own

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like for Carrisa to be a mommy of an almost 3 year old

Sometimes I wonder why everything is always so hard for us

Sometimes I don't have know the answer to Why, I just want to be allowed to wonder

Sometimes I just want to take this moment with Sarah and put it in my pocket and keep it forever DSC_0793


  1. This post made me laugh (how we all know we are terrible at singing) and then made me cry - like ugly cry. If you didn't think all of those what ifs, you wouldn't be normal! I think that stuff all the time. It's what makes us more grateful for each day, reminds us to live in the moment, and most of all to be kind to one another. Thanks for the reminder today. Hugs!

  2. This post makes me want to cry - enjoy your precious moments with your girls!


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