Many people, fortunately are able to plan for adoption and have lots of time to raise support and save. This came a little unexpected, so for us that process of saving and fundraising is much shorter. The costs for adoption and guardianship are great, but there is no price tag for Norah, we would pay how ever much we needed to have her, she is too precious and important to let money even be a factor. We trust that God will provide all that we need, even in a short time. Like today, when we met with the lawyer we needed $250 cash (no credit cards allowed), now that is not a lot of money in comparison to what we need, but I prayed on Monday night that God would help provide the $250 by Wednesday morning and when I looked in the paypal account this morning there was $262 in it! It came from selling items from the Carrisa collection and a few donations. I cried..... (I am a bit emotional these days).
When we were in California, Brett and I got a small glimpse of what it would be like to have a family of four. We took the girls for a walk (Maya and Norah) and then went to the park. It was a beautiful day, sunny and cool outside..... It was so fun holding both of the girls hands and walking. One man even thought the girls were twins. We played on the swing set, the slide, and did some climbing. Without saying anything to Brett, I knew we were thinking the same thing....... we had just a small picture of what the future might hold. It was a very bittersweet moment.
|Yes, Maya's face has marker all over it.... she kept telling me she wanted to be a tiger while coloring and when I finally turned around this is what she looked like|
Having Maya around warms my heart. Later in the week, while in California, I was tying Norah's shoes on my lap and Maya looked at me and asked "you her mommy?" my heart felt so happy and sad at the same time. Maya's words, thoughtfulness and sweet spirit are such a blessing. It is like she knows, God has given her special sense, even though she is so young and I love that about her!!
We make sure to talk to Maya a lot about Norah, telling her that she is going to be a big sister and get to share a room with her. We pray for Norah every night and that God would prepare their hearts. Maya makes things for Norah everyday and talks about her all the time. Maya even pulled out all of her night time undies (pull-ups) about 100 of them, and told us she was getting them ready for Norah...... Maya also called Norah her best friend! It will be good that they can be sisters..... I already bought the girls matching dresses, something that I have always wanted to do at the thought of having two daughters.
Sometimes I think that God got confused, that He forgot that this was suppose to happen to another family, someone better suited. I mean Brett and I are just regular, simple people, nothing special, not extraordinary. Does He really believe we can do this? It is really scary thinking that I won't mess up my own child and now I have to think about not messing up my sister's child. The task seems daunting at times.......but we are willing and honored to do it.