Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A memory

I have had some very hard moments.  Sometimes I wish there were more memories of Carrisa from when we were adults....  I mean,  I moved away from California when I was 20 years old (Carrisa 17) and have been away for 9 years.   It is harder with distance.

Brett and I have sometimes struggled with the fact that we are always traveling to see family.  We have family in California, Missouri, Texas, friends in Nebraska and we feel like we are always going to them, and hardly anyone comes here, to Colorado (especially since Fran passed away).  We are always using our vacation time and money to see family, which is wonderful, but sometimes we just want a real relaxing vacation, like at the beach.  In the same thought we have always always made it a priority that traveling to see family was a part of our life and our budget, and family means so much more than money.  For this decision I am so grateful, because now I have a special memory like this one.  I believe this memory was a gift....

  Last February Maya and I decided to make a trip to California.  Since my parents had moved to Placerville we had hardly been up to Paradise or Chico, so I requested to my mom that we spend most of our time up there because I wanted some sibling time.  This time was priceless and you can read my original post about it here, but I am going to recap

We got to stay with Carrisa, which I just loved, it was so fun being with her and Norah! I love that we both had young daughters.  On Friday  we spent sometime in downtown Chico going  to different baby boutiques and finding the most adorable, outrageously priced items.

Saturday it was suppose to rain, but for some reason it didn't at all, so we took advantage of the beautiful sunny weather and went to Capre Acres Park! Mom, Me, Maya, Carrisa, Norah, Jordan and Danae. It was so fun!! We let the girls play and swing, Maya just adored being with all of her aunts and uncles! We got muddy, we hide in jail, we just laughed together and remembered what it was like when we were children. I can't even remember a time we had like that with each other in years!

While the girls napped in the afternoon Jordan took us sisters to Forever 21, it was my first experience there! Carrisa couldn't believe I had never been there and was certain I would love it, and she was right. Carrisa and Danae spent the afternoon being my fashion consultants and helping me pick out cute clothes, I loved that time with them!

We went back to Carrisa's place and she made us a gluten free chicken pasta dinner with capers. I remember it specifically because I had never had capers (kind of like a little salty olive). I loved that she took the time to cook a delicious meal for all of us, we haven't had many times like that as adults.....
We also watched the girls play together.

In the evening we watched "The Time Travelers Wife." Carrisa made us fresh popcorn from her popper and it was sooo delicious! I told her how Brett had looked everywhere for a popper like hers ( a month later Brett got one in the mail from Carrisa, that was how she was, just so thoughtful and sweet) I cried the whole time we watched the movie and told Carrisa I didn't like it because it was too sad......

One other thing I vividly remember about that trip is all the time I spent discovering how talented and creative both of my sisters were. I mean I knew they liked crafts and did projects, but when they showed me some that they worked on I was amazed!! Carrisa pulled out many of the invitations she had made for weddings, parties, baby showers, etc. I was certain she should be a professional! When Carrisa passed away I searched everywhere for her golden pile of amazing invitations and could not find it..... All I have is a photo

Last Saturday night when I layed down in bed I could not get this memory out of my head.... I cherished it and was so thankful God had allowed it before Carrisa passed away...... I cried, a lot.


  1. Jenni: I am praising the Lord that He is helping you to truly grieve the loss of your sister, your best friend. Thank you for sharing your journey because it will help so many others in ways you could never imagine.

  2. Wow....Jenni I loved your story. You have an amazing family that has been through so much. I am glad that I got the chance to know all of you. I wish I had the continued the relationship when you all moved away. I am in awe how close all of you are. You all love the lord so much. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I pray that God will bless each of you according to his plan. I love you guys, Ann Marie

  3. such sweet memories, jenni. carrisa was such a beautiful, talented woman. thank you for opening your heart to all of us. love you.

  4. Jenni, I have been reading and following all your blogs and posts on facebook. You are such an inspiration to me. I have been crying with you and praying for you all in this very hard time. I don't know why God allowed this to happen, and everything thing else you and your family have gone through. But I do know that God has you in His loving arms. I'm so happy that you guys are getting Norah, when I first heard what happened to your sis I thought of you guys adopting her. I will continue to hold you up in prayer.

  5. This was a wonderful entry. You won't forget this special time you spent together, and it will be a memory that you can share with Norah when she is older. God bless you.


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